I have just finished watching My Life Without Me for the first time. My face, previously dehydrated, is now soggy with tears. It was such a beautiful film. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. Sure, you'll be crying by the end, but it's worth it. Besides, to quote my favourite film character:
"I look forward to a good cry, it feels pretty good".
So the tears are drying and leaving that film below my eyes that cracks when I blink. I'm not crying too much these days, which is surprising really given my life has really gone off track this last month or so. I'm ill, but I'm dealing with it. I'm unemployed, but by choice until I recover. I'm miles away from my friends, but my Mum is around the corner and she stays up late at night playing Rory McLeod and Fleetwood Mac records with me to cheer me up. This isn't where I had planned to be, but I'm determined to overcome my illness and come out of it with a new motivation to do the things I always say I want to do (but never do). I tend to live my life through compromises, I tell myself that if one thing is going right in my life then everything else is allowed to suffer. This isn't a bad way of living really, sometimes it's the only way. I do think, though, that I need to stop being complacent and attempt to get everything in my life going great. I figure if attempting to reach all my crazy goals brings me happiness then it's the best way to live, despite the outcome. I'm rambling.
I've come to Vox for a fresh start. I haven't written properly since my days at A Peculiar Smile + A Freudian Slipper. It's time to rectify that. I'm climbing out of my rut and onto my Tapestry.
I'm setting myself goals to at least begin to put into motion. I write myself lists like this all the time, but they're always written on bits of paper I lose or forget about. So here it is, with the World Wide Web as my witness, my list of goals (in no particular order):
1. Get healthy
2. Make lots of glasses
3. Learn new things
4. Finish making my handbag
5. See my friends more
6. Get fabulous housemates for me and Beatrix to play with
7. Join/start an a'cappella group
8. Play lawn bowls competitively
9. Write more letters
10. Write more in general
11. Get out more
12. Work on my design sketches
13. Figure out exactly what foods I need to avoid for a happy stomach
14. Visit Brad and Shelli in Queensland
15. Go on the 10 day vipassana camp
16. Reduce the amount of medications I have to take if possible
17. Think of a really good Christmas present to get Mum
18. Save some money
19. Spend more time on the sewing machine
So there you have it. I need to sleep now.
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